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Narcissistic Personality Disorder Made Easy
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Beyond the DSM
Behaviors of the Narcissist
If you have reached this page then you have an interest
in NPD. By now you've probably surfed through numerous
web pages. Some of these pages were understandable, some
were complicated, and some were intellectually
challenging.
Listed below is a list of behaviors, moods, and defense
mechanisms used by the narcissist that will make
understanding NPD easier. Parts of this list are based
on the five-factor model of personality for Compensatory
NPD.
MOODS
1. Chronic (long term) negative effects: anxious,
fearful, tense, irritable, angry
2. Rapidly shifting moods: a narcissist's mood changes
daily
BEHAVIORS
1. Inability to control impulses: eating, drinking,
gambling, spending money, etc.
2. Overly concerned about health (somatic: imagined
illnesses): the narcissist is unable or refuses to stick
to a diet, exercise plan or any other medical regime
recommended for him by a physician (except in the case
of pill taking). A narcissist usually adheres to taking
meds recommended but this doesn't take much effort on
his part.
3. Excessive talking: leads to inappropriate
self-disclosure as well as exposure about anything he
knows or perceives about others
4. Evokes fear in others: the web of mystery that the
narcissist spins around himself makes others leery of
him
5. Inability to spend time alone: he doesn't care who he
spends time with just so he isn't alone
6. Overly dramatic presentation of emotion: could well
be known as the "drama" queen or king (negative
emotions), exaggerates the importance of his experiences
7. Inappropriate attempts to dominate and control
others: a narcissist is demanding, expects to be treated
"special," and thinks everyone should immediately stop
what they are doing to do what he wants them to do
8. Selfishness: he thinks of himself first, gets what he
wants, and the heck with anyone else
9. Lack of practicality: a narcissist does not know what
the word practical means
10. Jealous and envious: ridicules the achievements of
others
11. Paranoid thinking: inability to trust friends or
family. A narcissist has a tendency to trust people he
has just met and tends to be paranoid about people he
should trust.
12. A sense of time urgency: is impatient
13. Socially rebellious and does not conform to societal
expectations: may lead to problems with the law or cause
vocational problems
14. Quarrelsomeness: ready to pick a fight at any time.
The narcissist wants attention whether it is positive or
negative so quarreling is as good a way to get attention
as anything else.
15. Exploitive and manipulative: lies, is rude to
others, verbally abusive especially to the opposite sex,
alienates friends, hold on to your money
16. Inflated and grandiose sense of self: arrogant
17. Shallow: in depth conversations are impossible with
a narcissist. The narcissist's conversations center on
him.
18. Attention seeking: wants to be the center of
attention and will do anything to achieve this (may
dress in a different or absurd way or behave
ridiculously)
19. Lack of interest in and empathy with others: don't
expect him to feel sorry for you no matter what he does
to you
20. Narcissistic rage: directed toward anyone who
injures an NPD individual's self-esteem
21. Underachievement: poor academic performance relative
to ability or vocational functioning
22. Infidelity: has difficulty remaining with one
partner sexually
23. Assumes the identity of those with whom he
associates: since he does not have a true picture of his
self, he assumes the morals, values, and beliefs of
others. A narcissist will change morals, values, and
beliefs overnight; if it benefits him in some way.
24. Lazy: expects others to do for him what he could do
for himself
25. Does not accept blame: blames everyone else for his
problems
26. Irrational beliefs: unrealistic expectations of
others to fill the needs of the narcissist,
perfectionist demands on self (a narcissist usually
tries so hard to be perfect he bungles everything up),
unwarranted pessimism about everything and everybody
27. Fantasizes: preoccupied with fame, wealth, and
achievement. The narcissist acts out his fantasy through
words or actions.
28. Problems with aging or disabilities: a narcissist
has difficulty with being confined
29. Loves his reflection: expect to see a lot of mirrors
hanging in the narcissist's house
30. Entitlement: believes that everything is due them.
The narcissist just doesn't think the rules apply to him
31. Hit and run relationships: the narcissist tends to
go through relationships rapidly--a narcissist can only
hold it together for 3-4 months tops
32.
DEFENSE MECHANISMS
1. Denial: used to justify, hide, and protect the weak
ego of the narcissist; used to deny responsibility for
the consequences of behavior; used to preserve
self-esteem in the face of negative consequences; occurs
on a level below consciousness). Example: "I did not say
that."
2. Projection: falsely attributing one's own
unacknowledged feelings, impulses, or thoughts to others
(Vaillant, 1986); blames others for his problems
(usually those closest to him). Example: "This is your
entire fault."
3. Rationalization: incorrect self-serving explanations
for his behavior or that of others. Example: "I drink
because my wife doesn't understand me."
4. Devaluation: negates anyone who inflicts a
narcissistic injury
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